The fear of being left on the sidelines of life was bigger than my fear of stretching out of my comfort zone. Up until I was 12 years old, I spent the summer on the steps of a swimming pool as my friends played in the deep end. I had it. I was tired of being left in the shallow end. So I was faced with a choice: do I play it safe and stay on the side steps of the shallow end or do I risk drowning as I learn to swim? I was more afraid of not being able to participate fully than I was of drowning. And so that fear of not being able to be free pushed me toward taking the risks. Day after day, gulp after gulp, I forged ahead and finally figured out how to swim and become free to play fully.

People face their fear of the unknown in order to put to rest their other fears. People leave their house not knowing what could happen rather than be isolated, people fly in planes trusting strangers with multiple lives rather than not experience adventure, people drive not knowing whether or not they could get in an accident rather than not have the freedom to go when and where they please, people allow themselves to fall in love whether or not they know if their heart will be broken rather than be alone. Congratulations on facing your fears!

In every situation when you are faced with being paralyzed or pushed, ask yourself which fear is stronger: the fear of playing it safe to merely survive or the fear of taking some risks to truly live?

There are times in our life when we feel helpless in the face of circumstances beyond our control: a natural disaster, a tragic death, an unexpected car accident. But helpless does not mean hopeless. During those times that appear beyond our control, it is essential to put your hope and faith in something or somebody that will give your life meaning and a sense of living forward into the future.

Les Brown said, “When there is hope in the future, there is power in the present.” Some circumstances are beyond our control, but how we react to those circumstances is within our control. By giving into fear, despair and limitations, you are also giving into the role of the victim. But by believing in hope and the ability to live into a better tomorrow, victory is evident.

How do you react to circumstances beyond your control?

So, what is possible? My answer: ANYTHING!

I have obvious limitations and yet, I have gone beyond those limitations that were imposed on my by society. I could have easily adopted their limiting beliefs. But I believed more in the possible than my obvious limitations. As obvious as they are, I hold on tight to my belief that it is possible for me to write. It is possible for me to feed myself. It is possible for me to drive. It is possible for me to be loved for what’s inside. It is possible for me to be free…free of limitations.

History and I have proven that limitations are just a state of mind. Just because what you want has never been done before does not mean that it is impossible. Dare to step beyond your self-imposed limitations. It’s all in your mind. I am living proof.

One day, people in future generations are going to look back and continue to be amazed by what you made possible.

What impossibility will you show is possible?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This is one of my favorite quotes and it is becoming more and more real for me.  In this last week, people have seen me bigger than I see myself.  They note a brilliance and confidence in me that I have not recognized in myself in a long time.

Where did it go?  Well, I believe it’s always there in me and in you.  But, sometimes the fear of rising up to answer a call bigger than who you believe yourself to be can be paralyzing.  Who am I?  What makes me special?  This is too big for me.  These thoughts stifled my light and I began to settle for mediocrity instead of a glowing brilliance.

Each of us is special, given unique gifts, talents, experiences and lessons to be a radiant light.  Thanks to all of you who see me as brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous.  It makes me rediscover the personal power that resides deep inside of me and inside of you.  It has always been there; it just was dormant.  But it’s now ready to shine bright.  Because you shine your inner light, I believe I can reflect mine and in turn, will empower others to shine.  In the presence of light, darkness has no choice to flee.

What is holding you back from letting your light shine?

The victim saturates him/herself in their hurts, hopelessness, helplessness, disappointments, self-pity and points the finger of responsibility for their life at everyone else.  The victor revels in hope, joy, love, purpose and only holds him/herself responsible for the outcomes of their life.

As I thought about how certain people fall into either the victim or the victor category, I looked at my own life experiences.  Most people would not have blamed me from taking on the victim role.  I have freely been given pity throughout my life. After all, what kind of life should I expect being born without arms and legs?

What I have discovered is that I have been able to be a victor because I accepted myself and the circumstances in which I was in.  Once I accepted my circumstances, there was nothing wrong, nothing to fix and no one to blame. I simply was a woman without arms and legs that had unique challenges.

After my unconditional acceptance of my situation, I could embrace the dark times of my life to learn the lessons I was meant to learn.  I learned patience.  I learned to release control sometimes.  I learned to think outside of the box.  I learned perseverance. I learned strength.  I learned faith.  I learned hope.

Once I learned these valuable lessons, I was free to move forward stronger and smarter with the knowledge that I am the master and the victor of my life.

What do you need to accept in order to learn those valuable lessons which will ultimately lead you victory?

I’ve used this technique throughout my life as well. Most recently, I visualized myself flying to Los Angeles for the first time. Traveling is a huge ordeal for anybody. You need to book your flights, you need to pack the essentials for on and off the plane, you need to get to the airport on time, you need transportation between the airports and destinations, you need lodging, etc. And so much could go wrong. You could forget something, you could miss your flight(s) (especially when there is a connecting flight), you could lose your baggage, you could run into rude and cranky people and your safety is at risk. The list could go on and on.

Needless to say, I, too, have the same concerns and fears; only I am more vulnerable and less able to help myself. So when I had to fly to Los Angeles by myself, I was terrified. But anything is possible, especially when you visualize.

First, I had to think out every step.

• A non-stop flight will be easier so I’m separated from my wheelchair only once.
• Only bring a carry-on baggage so I don’t have to get help at baggage claim.
• Pack according to what I need first (what I need first should go on top).
• Make sure I can access the essentials: money, my mouth-stick, travel pillow (a little comfort), my travel itinerary, make-up for retouching (gotta look good), etc.
• Don’t get hungry and don’t eat or drink to minimize my use of the bathroom.
• How am I going to handle the bathroom situation? Still my secret…
• Wear what I need to wear during the conference (wearing comfortable travel clothes is not an option).
• Arrange wheelchair accessible transportation to and from the airport.
• Reserve a wheelchair accessible room.
• Coordinate and pay for someone to meet me to assist me with personal care.

For days prior to my trip, I played a successful and smooth trip over and over in my mind. This visualization helped me become conscious of my fear and then get it under control. That way, when it was time for me to begin my journey, I could think straight and be more calm knowing that I thought everything out to the best of my ability.

Visualizing does not ensure unforeseen challenges, but it creates a space for you to see and achieve your goal. It also attracts positive forces to move in your direction. At every turn in my journey, I was met by helpful and generous people. Visualizing also allows you to come from a place not of fear, but preparation and confidence.

There are plenty of things we are afraid of. We often don’t stretch out of our comfort zone because of our fear. Neale Donald Walsch said, “FEAR is an acronym in the English language for ‘False Evidence Appearing Real.’”

I’m not suggesting that fear will ever disappear, but maybe by visualizing what we want as if it already exists, we can conquer that fear so we then become the masters of our life.

What are your goals? What do you need to visualize in order to achieve victory?

Breathe. Visualize. Execute.

I had the privilege of attending CEO Space (www.CEOSpace.net) last month and I was amazed by the beauty of the souls that surrounded me. In a space of over 700 people, I was intimidated (that’s an understatement) by the thoughts of being over looked or not good enough to help others. But as I opened myself up to the possibility that this was a safe and cooperative space, I began to witness all of the victories. And it was awe-inspiring!

Victories came in the form of, “What do you do? How can I help you?” Victories were evident in the smiles and hugs between strangers who just met. Victories were demonstrated through the authentic spirit of cooperation in love, passion and possibility to succeed for all.

You see, a victory in your life does not happen when you get to go on stage or on television. No one did anything that required fame and fortune to experience the victories I illustrated above. The victories lie in the details of living in an extraordinary way where you are open to give and receive love. Most victories even go on unnoticed. True victory is living life to its fullest, facing fear and loving passionately in every moment.

Explore the victories in your life. They are there…you just need to look!

I replied, “Sure, there are things that are difficult for me given I have no arms and legs, but, I don’t give it too much thought. I just have an understanding that there are some things that will be more difficult for me than for other people. For instance, I know it will be difficult to get my food out when it’s lunchtime. But what’s my alternative? Starvation.”

I know this is a really simple example of one of my challenges, but contemplating this made me think even deeper. People often let the challenges, or difficulties of life beat them down because there is no immediate consequence for not conquering that challenge. For me, I have real life consequences. I could let the challenge of getting food beat me down, but am I willing to starve because of that challenge? Of course not!

None of us have a crystal ball or the blessings of Christmas Past, Christmas Present and Christmas Future like Scrooge did to reveal to us the path not taken in life. So what do we have? We have faith that being and giving our best today will pay off tomorrow. We have faith that the risks we take today will create a quality of life beyond our imagination. We have faith that the fear we conquer today will lead us to victory tomorrow.

You just need to be hungry. Anyone hungry enough will overcome any challenge. What are you hungry for? What are you willing to do to conquer the challenges in order to feed your life?

As I get older, I think about whether or not my existence really matters. When I am gone, will my unique footprint be pressed upon the hearts of many? I think we all want to know that we matter. But special or public recognition does not make us worthy of being remembered.

Our legacy is much bigger than any award or accolade. Our legacy lies in the hearts of the people we touch. The legacy my mother and father passed down to me was love and faith as they defied the doctors’ advice to institutionalize me because they were not prepared to anticipate the needs of a baby without arms and legs. But when they left the hospital, they held me in their arms and love and faith in their hearts. Their legacy lives on.

I created this website, Small Victories, as a vehicle in which the legacy of love and faith can live on by giving recognition to the little things we do everyday. It is our everyday victories that makes us unique and worthy of leaving a legacy. No one applauded my parents or bestowed a noteworthy award as they walked out of the hospital. They did what they knew best which was to love passionately and have undying faith in God.

When all is said and done, it is not the car you drove or the size of your television or the neighborhood you lived in that will be acknowledged. How do you want to be remembered?

As we continue our life journey, let us become conscious of the impression we leave others. Let us be encouraged and empowered in knowing that we each matter and every victory is significant, no matter how small.

What do you do everyday that makes your unique mark? What do you offer your world?